Vulnerable, not a word that we necessarily would associate with Jesus; our accounts are full of wisdom of teaching of miracle of rising above the powers that try to trap him, of love, of kindness, of an authority that speaks deeper than words. But here, in this garden as tears fall, vulnerable is probably a good word.
The road had led him to this point, all that had gone before would be realised in the journey ahead. All that prophets had foretold, all that was planned before time, all that those who were close by wanted to prevent, was coming; was close.
It is almost as if the darkness was marching around, triumphantly. Calling on all its powers to engulf this moment; seeing an opportunity, a possibility of extinguishing the eternal light. Wherever Jesus turned there was darkness;
His friends, the ones he loved, the ones that he also had prepared for this moment, were asleep. Even at this critical moment, their tiredness had won and caused pain.
In the distance, soldiers’ came, he knew why, he knew that one of His friends led them. He knew that their destination was the spot where he was standing. It is ironic that so many see their destination in faith as Jesus, and yet at this moment, Jesus being the destination brought darkness.
He knew that running would bring its own darkness.
Darkness surrounded Him in anticipation of His next move, assuming that any move would cause Darkness itself to triumph.
Jesus was prepared, but was his disciples?
They had followed, given their own opinion on things, watched, listened and yet… it always seemed to take a while for the penny to drop.
They seemed to struggle to see the deeper message in things, rather than just the surface story.
There was no doubt they loved Him, but did they love him enough to let Him go and fulfil what had been prophesied from years ago?
Would they be prepared to watch Jesus suffer, to continue to the journey to humanities wholeness?
Would they be prepared to trust, even in the pain, even in the uncertainty, even in what seemed like a terrible thing? Trust that God held them close, even in this most darkest of moments?
And I suppose it asks the question of us? Do we know that even in the most darkest of moments in our life, God loves us, holds us and draws alongside us?
We that follow, like the disciples, may never get the answers, may never quite understand, may never feel we are prepared enough to go through whatever it is we are going through.
But the promise of God is that even in our most darkest and most difficult of moments, when all around seems to swamp us. He is there, walking alongside and shining His light in our lives.
When we are vulnerable, God holds us and keeps us and never lets us go.
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